Splatter 1 - Daisy and the Green Queen of Bling (choice dreamer colet)

(for the parent story of this one, see Mix 7)

It was a dark and stormy night.

But that meant nothing to Daisy. She was asleep in her bed, sound asleep, dreaming dreams of the future in that way she dreamt dreams of the future while she was asleep in her bed, sound asleep.

Recently, Daisy had been sleeping much more easily each night. Perhaps this came as a result of the fact that she had gotten a water bed installed inside of a cube of air inside of a cube of glass inside of a cube of water inside of cube of glass. She'd been really stressed out as of late due to the increasing demand for her predictions, but as the studies had shown, thinking of little fish around oneself helped one relax - so Daisy figured she'd put an aquarium around her bed.

Today especially, Daisy was having a hard time with the prediction demand. More girls than usual were asking whether or not relationships would fall through; more guys than usual were asking whether they'd score fame, fortune, and female friends with famously fortunate figures. Daisy was tired. So when she stepped out of the teleporter that she used to get into her room, she immediately wrapped herself inside of the shelter of the thick covers of the water bed installed inside of a cube of air inside of a cube of glass inside of a cube of water inside of a cube of glass and floated off to the land of dreams.

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When Daisy awoke, she saw around her a cube of air inside of a cube of glass inside of a body of water that probably wasn't a cube. She figured she was probably in the middle of an ocean somewhere, floating off to no land anytime soon. It seemed that she had at least been granted a magical helmet filled with an unlimited supply of air, or else she would have already suffocated in the cube of air inside of the cube of glass outside of her head.

Since she was in the middle of an ocean somewhere, Daisy decided the surface where she was floating was probably the most boring place possible, so she looked down. What she saw shocked her, and it did so with enough energy to knock Daisy unconscious.

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When Daisy awoke, she saw around her a cube of air inside of a cube of glass inside of a cylinder of water inside of a cylinder of glass inside of the body of water that probably wasn't a cylinder either. She was bound and determined, tied up and struggling in vain to free herself. Directly in front of her was a giant purple, red, blue, black, brown, white, and sometimes pink octopus that seemed to either have issues controlling its camouflage or issues deciding what kind of mood it was in. Around the octopus, Daisy sensed an aura of darkness, implying that it also had issues controlling its ink. Noticing that Daisy had noticed it, the octopus began to speak.

Daisy didn't understand Octopian, so she just kind of sat there.

Noticing that Daisy had noticed that it was speaking Octopian and had thus stopped noticing it, the octopus began to speak in English, turning red briefly before changing back to a wise shade of purple.

"My apologies, Miss Colet. So much time has passed since I last spoke to a human that I forgot they are unable to understand Octopian."

The octopus stopped, as if searching its mind to find more English phrases. Daisy scoffed in disbelief that even inside of a cube of air inside of a cube of glass inside of a cylinder of water inside of a cylinder of glass inside of a body of water that was neither a cube nor a cylinder, her ears were still having to suffer through boring speeches from boring people. The octopus suddenly turned a fairly dark shade of brown, and then continued its speech.

"Aight so here's what's goin' down. Y'all know that the Green Queen of Bling's been jackin' my style for the past few decades, but now she done taken the whole damn thing from me an' my homies." The octopus changed to a bland white color. "Essentially what we're looking at is the gradual progression of the Queen's plan to take over the sea, a plan that has now reached a stage in which I have been left nearly powerless. Should we see a continuation in this trend, it is unlikely that any of the sea's original population will maintain any sort of influence here."

Daisy blinked once. The octopus was now blue.

"Dear Daisy, do do our oceanic domain deeds of overwhelming courage, courtesy, and altruism. Every eel, anemone, and crustacean can probably provide armaments and aid, an offer only available as an absolute final farewell. We wish to take what's wholly our own, beat back greedy Green's friends from our ocean." Black. "Join us, and together we will smash that Queen and conquer this sea once more. With the power of a human, our victory will be undeniable."

Daisy was a little overwhelmed for several reasons, but since she was currently tied up and otherwise trapped inside of a cylinder of water inside of a cylinder of glass, she told the octopus that its proposal sounded fun. Red again, and Daisy soon found herself being embraced and enveloped in a mass of tentacles, suction cups, and sporadically spurting ink.

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Daisy found herself mysteriously dressed in thickly padded armor that kept the water out, after a somewhat sketchy awakening. In one hand was a spear whose tip was fashioned from a swirling, spiky snail shell. In the other was a magical bottle filled with an unlimited supply of ink, or else it definitely would have run out by the time she realized it didn't have any stopper besides her thumb. She felt pretty intense.

Around her, Daisy saw an epic gathering of all sorts of sea creatures, ranging from Christmas anemones to aggregate anemones to giant green anemones to purple anemones. She should have known there was something wrong with that stupid, riddle-riddled, blue octopus. Like a crabby crab would care enough to lend her a hand.

Apparently the armor Daisy was wearing was also magical, or else her legs would have probably hurt enough to make her pass out when they bent the wrong way to make her swim like a mermaid. She didn't know where she was supposed to go or what she was supposed to do, but she saw a light in the direction she was heading, so she kept heading in the direction she was heading, where she saw a light. The anemones followed behind her like giant, brightly colored, bouncing, tentacled flans. It was a little disturbing.

Apparently Daisy herself was also magical, or else she would have realized that the light toward which she was heading was actually in the direction of up, where the light toward which she was heading was actually. Daisy reached the light of the surface and looked around her. She couldn't see much because the giant, brightly colored, bouncing, tentacled flans that called themselves sea anemones were all floating in the shape of a giant, giant, brightly colored, bouncing, tentacled flan around her, so she couldn't see much. Above the anemones, however, was something that looked like a giant, brightly colored, completely rigid-bodied, tentacled something. It seemed to be growing and losing tentacles in equilibrium; it was pretty much constantly spewing new ones while losing old ones. After staring at the giant, brightly colored, completely rigid-bodied, tentacled something for seven point three minutes, Daisy finally realized that the giant, brightly colored, completely rigid-bodied, tentacled something wasn't even a giant, brightly colored, completely rigid-bodied, tentacled something - it was a volcano.

Daisy, after noticing this, decided that approaching the erupting volcano was a good place to start her search for the Green Queen of Bling. Since Daisy herself was also magical, she knew her decision was a good one. She swam in her magical mermaid-like suit toward the volcano, where she, as expected, found the Green Queen of Bling, who, upon noticing the slow approach of Daisy and the giant, giant, brightly colored, bouncing, tentacled flan of giant, brightly colored, bouncing, tentacled flans, escaped via magical volcanic-debris-avoiding helicopter. In the wake of her departure she left behind all 9,322 of her spell cards, all of which were only useful for summoning mummies.

Daisy, after noticing this, decided that approaching the erupting volcano was still a good place to start her attack on the Green Queen of Bling. When Daisy struck land, the Green Queen of Bling's magical volcanic-debris-avoiding helicopter was still magically avoiding volcanic debris, so she climbed right up to the top of the volcano and started pouring an infinite amount of the octopus' magical ink into it. The ink magically charged the lava in the volcano, thus when the lava flew out it canceled out the magical ability of the Green Queen of Bling's magical volcanic-debris-avoiding helicopter. The Green Queen of Bling was forced to switch into manual mode, making it impossible for her to continue avoiding volcanic debris in her helicopter. She brought it down and jumped off to land behind the still pouring Daisy. She was going to kick Daisy into the volcano in a fashion not unlike that of the Spartan king Leonidas, but she was stopped dead in her tracks by a giant, brightly colored, bouncing, tentacled flan. It was just THAT creepy.

Daisy, after noticing this, decided that the erupting volcano was no longer a good place to start her attack on the Green Queen of Bling, so she turned around and launched her swirling, spiky snail shell spear at the Green Queen of Bling in a fashion not unlike that of the Spartan king Leonidas. The Green Queen of Bling promptly exploded, sending all of her bling sinking to the bottom of the body of water that probably wasn't a cylinder either, where it would all remain as sunken treasure forever. Along with all of her bling, the Green Queen of Bling sent out a wave of purple magical energy that turned all of her mummies purple, signifying that they had changed into a state of purple rage. They became blind to everything that wasn't purple - what was purple they considered to be their ally, since they instinctively knew that when they were purple their friends would all be purple too. As such, they easily consumed all of the giant, brightly colored not purple, bouncing, tentacled flans on the volcano. The purple sea anemones were actually pretty badass, but that didn't really matter because the purple rage mummies didn't attack them anyway. Well, it actually ended up mattering a bit because once all the giant, brightly colored not purple, bouncing, tentacled flans were all eaten up, the purple ones went and badassed the purple mummified crap out of the purple rage mummies. The giant, brightly purple colored, bouncing, tentacled flans became a huge, formless cloud of purple that engulfed the purple rage mummies as if to show the purple rage mummies that their dead master's wave of purple magical energy was nothing compared to the huge formless cloud of purple that engulfed the purple rage mummies.

Daisy, after noticing this, decided that the erupting volcano made a great backdrop for a victory pose, so she waited until the purple could finished engulfing the purple rage mummies, then made a victory pose for the backdrop made by the erupting volcano that was decided to be great after Daisy noticed this.

Balance was restored in the world, and the octopus' domain was restored in the world, and all was well in the world.