Thursday, September 23, 2010

Assigned Blog Post 02 - Me, Myself, and not I [m' style and me - info]

As I'm sure you're now well aware, I'm not everyone else. In fact, if I had to say, I'm probably everyone. My personality, I think, is fairly dependent on who's around me. Sometimes I'm that kid in the corner just staring at the crowd, listening to whatever seemingly important chatter comes out of the others' mouths, analyzing and evaluating everything. I'm a part of the crowd, laughing at all the little things that (don't) count in life. I'm the one that waits until it's almost time, just so I can have the thrill of having something I'm supposed to do, even if only for one moment. I'm too good, the jerk who would rather ignore the inferiority of the crowd than fix it. I cry for the happy-ending love stories, then scoff as others do the same.

Yeah, I'm a mixed bag, and when I write, I'm never sure which one of me is the one that's writing. Whatever gets written reflects that, in plot, concept, and character. My writing is abstract, because I don't totally know what it is I'm writing about. I make it up as I go. I come up with things to write based on how I feel about what I just wrote. Sometimes I'll know how I want a story to end, but I've yet to start it, then I struggle in filling the gaps to reach that end. Other times it's the opposite way around. I see my inspiration in one facet of my soul, and I follow it deep inside to nothingness, then end up popping out of some other facet. In my mind, life is twisted. I have to twist myself and my writing to fit it.

From the corner where I sit and analyze everything, I record every detail in my head. As I write, I see the details clearly, and feel almost no need to write them down, almost no need show on paper what I believe can be seen in anyone's mind as well as my own.

As one in the legion that is humankind, I laugh at the funny things and gape at the awesome. Who cares if they aren't real? Laughing feels good, so why not share that feeling with others every once in a while?

I wait for the end; it's useless to think it all out before writing it all down, since it's inevitably going to change as it materializes.

There's no reason for me to deal with other people's problems. If someone wants something done right, that person should do it on their own, not wait for others to do it for them. One person's right is another person's left.

Happy endings are touching - everything would be so nice if it all just worked out in the end, life would be so great, and it's understandable that people would cry because somewhere they know the sad truth. Happy endings don't just work out. They're called endings because they come after all the other crap life throws at you. When people, just for one second, cry about how their lives don't just work out like the happy endings, it's funny because instead of working toward that end, they merely sit and revel in the light of whatever end is being presented to them.


Yeah, I just made up the last five paragraphs only because I reread what I wrote in the first one.

But really, what I write is a warped reflection of how I feel about life. Like I said in Assigned Blog Post 01, what I write is life through two filters - my mind, then my minds.


Also, if you didn't notice, this post is kinda really based off the title, but it still worked out mostly okay. Probably.

1 comment:

  1. i agree with what you say yourself about writing super metaphorical things (i know you said it somewhere... xD)--sometimes they can be a little hard. which is why i requested the ingredients type post. :) it's really interesting to read all your entries on this blog because it amazes me how much of you i still don't know, even though we've been friends all throughout high school. :

    ReplyDelete